Friday 20 April 2012

Day Five..

I arrived a little before official visiting hours started, today. The patient was curled up on her side, asleep. It's really quiet on the ward right now. But then, lunch has already been served and the empties have been cleared away. It's 1:30pm - only half an hour before the 'gates open' to the visiting hoards, who, unlike me, are abiding by the hospital rules waiting until 2pm before descending en masse. So here I am sat on my usual armchair, observing a moment's silence. It's grim outside. Squally showers pre-emptive of the unquiet that's going to drench our tranquil corner.

Gail texted me this morning to tell me that she'd been seen by the Prof's second in command, Andrea, who specialises in the HDIL-2 treatment. So she has seen it all and knows the form. Her reaction to seeing the results from Gail's daily blood tests and hourly stats was nothing short of utter delight. She described her as a double 'A star' patient. Her bloods are as they were on the day before she began her treatment. What a marvel she is!

Reassuring though these praiseful words are, they can have the effect of protecting you from the reality. The HDIL-2 onslaught is taking its toll on Gail's battle-weary body. With every dose, now, she knows what's coming. And the bravery she had in the early stages to declare "bring it on!" has gradually been surrendering to a cringing acceptance that this relentless cycle, nine already completed, is leaving her feeling depleted and sore.

Her body is aching from the violent shaking of the rigors. Her mouth is sensitive and dry and her throat sharp and cutting from the massive swings in temperature, regularly hitting 40C. Her brain is muddled from the disorientating flu-like fevers. And you'd think with this exhausting, grinding routine, her resolve might be waining. Actually, if you know Gail, you'll know her resolve will be the last thing to crack.

Before Gail has her TENTH dose, her stats have to return to acceptable levels, as they do before every dose. The blood pressure in particular has to climb back up from fading lows like 78 over 48 (one of last nights readings – gasp!)  to a minimum of 90 for the upper (systolic) figure. The time it takes for Gail's systolic pressure to recover is taking longer, therefore the time between doses is getting longer. At the beginning it was every eight hours, now it's getting closer to... ten hours! Considering everything, that's still an incredible achievement. To put this into perspective, most people aren't able to reach double-figures by the end of their week stint on HDIL-2, Gail still has one day to go! I apologise if I am gushing about the virtues of my wife. I am so very proud of her.

The blood pressure reading in the picture on the right was the latest one taken at about 7:30 this evening. The upper figure is 98 – well over the minimum of 90... Which means, it's time for dose number ten. A 50ml flush with glucose first, then by about 8:30, Gail will climb into the roller coaster and off for another assault on the body and senses. Interestingly, though, this roller coaster hasn't been a sickening ride for Gail. Not once has she felt sick on this. Many complain of sickness as a major side effect. One other much feared side effect that has mercifully remained elusive for Gail, is the hallucinations.

As the tenth IL-2 bag is about to be suspended on the drip feeder, the time has come for me to say goodnight to Gail and leave the ward. A basic but comfortable hotel room awaits me. A rough and punishing ride awaits my heroine wife. I love her so much.


2 comments:

  1. Dearest Gail,

    You are doing so very, very well and now you are nearly at the end of of the first week with everything going magnificently well. I know it must be very, very hard but I am equally sure that you will hang on in there and make it through to the end of this week. We are all depending so much on your courage and fortitude, how lucky we are to feel such confidence in your staying power.
    Love as always, I so wish I could be with you. Px

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  2. Dear Gail, I have been following your blog sent to me by Sara in Minchinhampton. I'm very impressed with your resilience, with the decisiveness and efficiency in finding and going through this treatment which would make anyone quail. I think this written testimony (so beautifully written by Franco and yourself and documented with photos which have an extraordinary aesthetic quality..lovely hands, profile) is a great idea as it allows us into your world at this moment and gives us time to assimilate and react. I think the hospital is right when they ask you to write a journal for others following the same treatment: the two of you together make an excellent team in terms of writing, image and also frankness. My reaction is this: I want to cook for you all. Make food, send wine. I'm going to set about this, best love Sara Thornton, Paris

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